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Thursday, July 07, 2005

WARNING : the follwing post would sound utterly nonsensical . so if you can't take rubbish . don't bother . =)

i'm sucha wreck .
i now know why i am so moody can cranky this afternoon .
no . its not the lack of sleep .
okay .
maybe just a small part of it .
but .
its . school .

the contradict is back.
i've been wanting school to start .
but no .
apparently now i'm dreading it.
~~idon'tlikeholidaysatall~~
yes. you saw it .
you weren't seeing things .
i don't . like . holidays .

they make me feel so .
rahh . i don't even know how to go about talking bout how i feel .
my tummy's tied into dead knots .
i need to unwind . to breathe .
someone please tell me school won't be so bad after all?
~~yesportia.schoolwilljustbepeachysweet.INYOURDREAMS~~
yes . i've warned you .
this entry will just be very .
trashy .
is it even the right word for this ?
okay .
maybe f.o.r is
full of rubbish .
ahhah. =|

i'm uber panicky . uber worried . uber emotional .
i'm actually at the brink of ~~tears~~
yes. emotional wreck is the word .
i'll be doing things i never dreamed i would ever do in my life .
and NO . that's not a good thing . NO . not at all .
i think i've lost the ability to learn how to make new friends .
maybe .
i should just be a loner in my class .
yes . PORTIACHOONG . learn to be independent .
school isn't a nightmare .
school is just school .
no . school is not supposed to be fun .
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .

you know what ?
this might be the longest entry since .
since . since . i dunno when .
RAH . i . need . to . calm . down .

of all people . i had to become a uber dependent person .
you know . i used to be so independent.
geez . why do i have to be so extreme .
did i mention i actually don't like being alone .
AT ALL ?
God help me cope through this and come out sane please .
it is about time i have a prayer partner .
okay . that . ah . NVM .

yes . i am not alone .
God is with me . =)
i shall not fear .

okay . that helped .
=D grins .

okay . now i'm not feeling so bad.
but . bad enough.
AH . i don't wanna become an emotional wreck .

i have to learn how to let loose .
not to be so paranoid .
AH . the word is .
OPEN UP . =)
okay . that's not a word .

I BETTER DO WELL .
yes . I MUST .
if not . THAT'S IT .
*nags at self .
no matter how hard it is .
i MUST . =)

yes . before i go crazy . PERMANENTLY .
i shall stop .

whoever said solace is good for a person's well being? never really understood the true meaning of it .

that sounds so wrong .
AHHHHHH .
what is happening to me .
I HAVE TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY .
blogging makes me think .
that's no good.
NO .
NOT GOOD .

please don't be surprised if one day you come by to read and realise i've deleted my blog .
i'm very tempted to do so .
SIGHS .
bye peoples .

;elysium.
10:32:00 PM